Does Your Mother Know?

When I was growing up my mum had lots of funny sayings,  some of which have stuck with me ever since. This is for a number of reasons, some of them I still believe to this day, some of them I don’t but they still remain with me because of the importance that she attributed to them. On not very frequent occasions I find that I say something which echoes the types of saying my mum used to come out with and I giggle to myself. Others, I don’t say but I still remember them well because I’m determined NOT to ever say them.

These are my top seven mum sayings:

Do as I say not as I do

Do you know what? I think my mum would be shocked if she knew everything that I’ve ever gotten up to. She has led such a sheltered life in comparison – married at seventeen, then settled with a family ever since. I on the other hand didn’t follow in her footsteps. Some of the stuff I’ve done would probably make her eyes water. I doubt that she’s ever done anything really bad, although she most likely knows some great swear words that I’ve probably never heard. That’s about all. I’m certain that I could teach her a thing or two ;)

Never trust anyone whose eyebrows meet in the middle

I’ve never once said this or repeated it. It has, however, stayed with me for the rest of my life. The bad news is that my eyebrows, when allowed to become unruly, do meet in the middle (just, if you squint hard enough you can see it). The good news is that waxing seems to sort it out. It may just be an old wives’ tale, it may be just a saying but it made me self conscious and very aware of those days when my facial hair is in need of some maintenance. As a teenager it really upset me and I did wonder if there was any truth in it or if people believed it to be true and they were examining my brows!

It’s going to rain, the cows are lying down

I do admit to having said this one on more than one occasion. It’s not because I believe it to be true, it’s because I find comedy value in the
statement when people look at me in complete disbelief or as if I’m mad. I am a bit mad, I will own up to that. The good thing about living in the countryside is that I get plenty of opportunities to say this one and I still (very sadly, perhaps) find it funny. My daughter who takes everything quite literally, really finds this one interesting and it provides hours of amusement and debate.

Don’t worry, you’ll grow into it

I don’t, and never will find this one funny. Being the eldest child it wasn’t often that I heard this one but for my siblings, having hand me
down clothes was no laughing matter. One of my aunts was only a few years older than me and I did from time to time, get given hand me downs but because they were from her I saw them as ‘cool’ due to the fact that I looked up to her. I do remember my mum going through a dress making phase and she had no idea of thelevel of street cred that I really wanted to achieve. One year, we all ended up (dad included) going out wearing identical pairs of Bermuda shorts (remember those – OMG blast from the past) because she’d bought masses of the same material as a bargain and found making shorts was easy.

Stop calling me mum, you’ll wear my name out

Sadly my mum doesn’t say this one anymore and I don’t think she ever meant it, not really. I used to spend quite a lot of time wondering what else I should call her and actually if she did really mean it. It was particularly around a time when she had her own children at home plus a house full of foster children and between us all we probably drove her barmy.

Are you busy?

This is my all time favourite mum saying. She says it still to this day. One classic moment was at about 3am during an interim period as an
adult when I’d moved in with them. She also says it when she phones me on days that I’m working from home as if on those days I’m not actually doing anything, I’m just pretending to work.

If the wind changes direction, your face will stick like that

My brother and I found this one really amusing and we would deliberately pull faces to see if it worked. If anything, it just encouraged us to be cheeky children. We were probably quite an embarrassment at times.

What funny sayings do/did your parents have?

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